Silly coniptions combined with bouts of caring have compelled the disposal of knowledge.

And a disposal it is! The thought of carrying the burden of remembering things has become greater than the actual burden of remembering things. As trivial as it may seem to simply "not forget", the pain of losing the last lab note or reading of an publication is not something that is easily remedied. There must be some psychology term to describe this feeling.

I had a friend who got me into this field. He was a blackhat. The power of investigation under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol fuelled his cycle of life.

He pissed in my ex-girlfriend's yard and left a beer bottle. Somewhere on Livejournal, he described a trip to visit me. I remember nothing much about it, but apparently it was a complete party.

Somewhere between pissing in a yard and the party hard bullshit, it became apparent that our work required more network knowledge. See, he could do the programming if I could do the networks/systems work. And it would all work out great and we'd pwn the planet.

But thats not how the story ends. Money and a steady job change a normal person. The wild experimentation was a risk. And so, slowly, we had to drift apart in ideology and efforts. His business became the spam business and my business was opposed.

After hanging with this dude for ~10 years, he committed suicide. The high lifestyle of blackhattery simply ceased to meet his bills. His party lifestyle couldn't comport with his family obligations either, so his wife left him. Broke and alone. And I've always felt there was something I could have done.

So I do what I do now, inspired by what he taught me and brought me on to. More people like him will come, providing great learning possibilities. But today, its just the basics. The repetition of the basics that drive deeper knowledge.